Dream Location

I was working on the framing for the second wall in the ripping hot sun on the corner of the canal. I had got to a good stopping point and I was about to pack up to go and fetch some windows. I was double moored among a bundle of narrowboats and suddenly I hear a voice saying "There's a space next to the book barge!"

Looking though a gap in the mess of boats I could see the head of a man with a white beard dyed purple looking right at me. He had a plain straw hat on and shouted "There's a space right next to the book barge!". I couldn't quite make out what he was saying and asked for clarification. "There's an empty spot just the other side of the book barge. It's been there for a few days, I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner".

My brain exploded. This is exactly what I was looking for in the lead up to the sunny bank holiday weekend at the end of August. I thought of calling a friend to help me move the boat - I need someone to help as I can't see properly from the drivers seat. Obviously I will do something about it - hence why I was about to install windows. But my priorities suddenly changed with this unexpected news. 'I need to move the boat. I need to move the boat.'

There was in fact no time to call Helen so I asked two of the Kings Cross Pirates to help me. 'I'll come along for the adventure said David. Niall, who was drinking Sauvignon Blanc from a yellow cup also agreed to come along. We untied the many ropes, David gave us a push into the centre of the canal and away we went.

As soon as we got to the first corner a fucking great big wide-beam appeared out of nowhere and was coming right for us. David said calmly 'I'd put it in reverse'. The enormous behemoth was bearing down on us and wasn't slowing down. They were on a warpath. I stuck it in reverse and the engine struggled against the forward momentum we had build. I trust my engine and I gave it full gas on reverse and the tiller shook to move us backwards and out of the way of this great big black steel hulk. I tucked Hope & Desperation out of the way as the War Pig came within 10 feet of us. Turns out I knew the owner from my Victoria Park days. They were on their way to the Notting Hill Carnival and weren't stopping for no-one!

On we went and we steered through the boats, just missing a tour canal as we passed under a bridge. There were thousands of eyes on me from the artificial grass stairs to the outdoor theatre. It was sunny and everything was alive. Somebody from the bridge was shouting 'Sam! Sam!'. I couldn't check to see who it was as I was so focused on not hitting the Madrigal Louise on my left. The owner, Yann jokingly said 'Watch my paint work!' as the rear of the boat swung towards her. 'Believe me, all I'm doing is watching your paintwork!'. We avoided a collision and smoothly rolled down the Regent's Canal.

As we approached the book barge there was a little spot. The owner of a great big black wooden boat appeared. Leathery skin, no hair and definitely no top on. He was making noises I couldn't work out as he was too far away but I understood the posture and the facial expressions: 'What the fuck is going on here'

David and Niall are my champions and they shouted 'It's an art installation!'. Paddy, the owner of the book barge also came out and with a more gentle look but I could also tell was thinking 'What the fuck is going on here'. My pirate friends did most of the talking as they all know each other. Paddy and Scott both helped out massively with the mooring and wedged us in beautifully.

This spot IS THE BEST SPOT ON THE CANAL. In my mind, Word on the Water represents what I love about the canal - Sensitive, interesting and magical. And somehow! I have managed to end up right next to her!!!! That, my friends, is a boom ting!